The Cocoanut

I find that when I’m totally jobless, I nurse my sorrows of unemployment by continuously munching on biscuits and cookies. Now before you start calling me dirty names like ‘emotional eater’ or ‘cookie monster’, let me just make it clear that I’m not an emotional eater, OK? I just happen to enjoy eating Oreos because they make me happy. The only beef I have with Oreos is that they get stuck in the crevices of my teeth and leave a long-lasting stain that makes it look like I’ve just eaten soil.

Some people, who have more time than me, have invented myriad ways to consume an Oreo. They twist and separate the two chocolate biscuit disks, and scrape the white crème filling with their front teeth. I prefer my Oreo as a duo of black disks and white crème, and I don’t think I’d enjoy the sugary white paste on its own. That’s a bit like eating mayo without chips. Decadent and indulgent yes, but disgustingly so. Call me a cookie conservative, a ‘Reo Republican if you must, but that’s how I feel these cookies should be eaten.

Since I’m currently in Australia, I like to follow the local customs. As they say, when in Czechoslovakia, do as the Czechoslovakians do. When in Oz, eat Tim Tams. A Tim Tam is a biscuit composed of two layers of chocolate malted biscuit, separated by a light chocolate filling and coated with a thin layer of chocolate. A bit of chocolate overkill if you ask me, but that’s how they like it Down Under. The malted biscuit gives the illusion of lightness in these Tim Tams. This can be a good thing, because you can eat a lot of it without feeling full. This can also be a bad thing, because you can eat a lot of it without feeling full.

Some “creative” types have developed an imaginative (read:devious) way of enjoying a Tim Tam by biting the ends off and sucking a beverage through the biscuits. Called the Tim Tam Slam, it’s like having a drink through a straw, except that the straw is edible. Again, you can call me an old fashioned conservative, but I prefer my Tim Tam as is, by biting it from front to back, the way its Manufacturer intended it to be eaten.

However, my all-time favourite cookie would have to be the Famous Amos. These are a relative new-comer to the Australian cookie landscape, but have been a longstanding junk food icon in Malaysia. Famous Amos is perhaps unique among its cookie compadres in that, at least in both Australia and Malaysia, it is sold through stand-alone cookie boutiques rather than at the supermarket.